It turns out that this workshop was a pivotal step towards developing our skills and creating the willingness to spread and cultivate our culture.
On the weekend of 5–7 September we held a facilitators workshop attended by 11 men, all representing 6 groups from Westport to Kaikōura (via Nelson).
Being a pilot event with no experience to call on, we stepped into it blindly—and in my case, with apprehension. How do you fill a weekend with 4–5 sessions of usable information? As it turned out, the event shaped itself with the help of everyone stepping up and showing exactly the type of leadership we are promoting.
Our leadership philosophy
The theme that evolved was: Leadership is not about power but initiative. Initiative versus complacency.
Most attendees were there not primarily to become facilitators or uncles, but to up their game in their own groups, who are facing a variety of challenges. We were able to talk through all those issues, sharing the rich experience from so many groups.
We consolidated our philosophy around leadership, which everyone is aware of in the practice of their group, but which we hadn’t ever formulated. Leadership is needed to overcome inertia, to define and summarize the group’s will, to challenge men through their resistance to confront their stuff, to do all those little actions and make those suggestions that make things happen in a group.
Leadership is not about power. Everyone is equal in a group. If power and ego come into it, then that is one of the challenges a group faces—and it requires leadership to stand up to it.
We all agreed that leadership isn’t about being eloquent as opposed to being a quiet person (although it helps). It’s about standing for one’s values with self-care and care for others—and not waiting for others to step up.
Continued men's work development
We see this workshop as a step in a development that makes men’s work more prominent and available:
- International Men’s Day – a promotional, networking, and celebratory event which creates more groups.
- Waitangi Weekend – a deep-dive retreat with new guys in mind.
- Rotoiti Weekends – our spiritual center, to practice our belief in taking responsibility for our issues and building a positive community of men.
- Annual Facilitators Workshop – developing the skills to move forward.
For men thinking about starting a group, our how to start a men's group guide draws on many of the lessons from this workshop and others.
For a deeper exploration of what this kind of leadership makes possible, read our post on how men's groups go from simple sharing to genuine change.
Hardy
021 213 2299
ed.bew@trehcabydrah
