We have been in early talks to shape a National Men's Conference to be hosted in Nelson. We would like it to be supported by the whole mens group movement and to represent its interests and concerns.
We realise that mens groups are diverse in their attitudes, which is our strength. A conference is not intended to claim that it represents all the views of men out there. We are not a political movement nor a religious or ideological one. No one speaks for anyone else, just as that is one of the tenets of group work. But what do we have in common?
Beyond the I-statements, what's the “We” of our network?
Be part of it
At this stage we are wanting to hear from involved men what they think a conference should cover and what it should aim to achieve. The options are wide-ranging. The minimum goal could be to bring men's groups of Aotearoa together, bond our movement, and embrace our brotherhood. We could define our commonality as well as variety. It may develop a common message, common objectives and goals.
We envisage keynote speakers. What would they cover?
We could have workshops discussing common threads, a vision for the future. (For example: how do we promote our work to young men?)
There are lots of us, and there should be a lot more. Our work points towards answers to issues that men out there struggle with -- the crisis of masculinity (is there a crisis?), the portrayal of men in the public (rarely presented by affected men themselves) -- do we have a voice in these issues? How do we interact with groups of men who have specific challenges and might come from the edge of life, or even from over the edge? (ex gang members, ex-inmates, drugs, sexual abuse survivors, trauma victims...). These groups are usually facilitated, by social workers for example. Their work is very similar to us.
There is lots to clarify. Funding? Timing (in conjunction with Int Mens Day)?
We would appreciate if mens groups out there and other interested parties entered into a discussion about this conference. Our website is the starting point, and you can comment on this post (below). Tell us if you see the merit of this, what should be covered, and what avoided. And if you are interested in being part of an ongoing discussion to shape this event.
I love the idea and would would definitely be interested in taking part! I like the idea of spending time connecting with men outside the Nelson region, just to learn from others how they do things. There are men that have been involved with Essentially Men and other organisations that have been doing this for decades, and I'd love to be able to come together to share and collaborate so all of us can bring back some knowledge and experience on how we can deepen the work we are each doing in our groups and at events.
I want to celebrate what you men of Nelson have achieved so far and the vision you have created here. I can feel your enthusiasm and commitment. I wholeheartedly agree with the ethos behind this initiative. A sense that you men are coming from a place of connection and love.
I am fully engaged with the Essentially Men community and have been for a long time. I was also very engaged with the Mens Leadership gatherings held at Taupo for many years before that candle faded.
The idea of collaboration really appeals to me, I know I function much better when in connection with others. The planet certainly needs men of good strong hearts and minds and the more we can do to open men up to their potential the better for all.
Love Terence
Like Terence, I am fully engaged with the Essentially Men community and have been for close to 15 years. For most of that time I have been a volunteer on service teams to support EM workshops and for the last year I have been EM's general manager. There are a lot of small charities supporting men's health throughout Aotearoa and I see real value in collaboration (not competition). If each of us can work together and support each other then the whole becomes so much bigger. This conference feels like an opportunity to build relationships and connections and to see how we can work together.
I see mens groups as one part of supporting mens health. It is a key part of men doing their own personal development work but is not the whole picture. This conference feels like an opportunity to understand where mens groups fit into the landscape of mens work and also a chance to explore what other mens work offerings are available throught NZ.
I am happy to be involved in ongoing discussions about this conference.
Kia ora brothers, I'm one of the men holding down men's work in Ōtautahi Christchurch alongside counselling. I feel generally interested in this offering however feel pretty limited in capacity and aren't likely to be able to attend this year if I'm honest with myself
Things I'd like to see stronger in our community:
- Clarity on how particular men's groups receive transgender men. I believe if a group is not open to transgender men, they should be very clear about it otherwise it puts the risk and labour onto those men. It's okay to have boundaries, it's not okay to receive a man and then have the labour of their own safety and inclusivity fall onto them when they arrive.
- Understanding and directly addressing addiction. I know there are eyes on this and work towards it already, however I feel like sometimes we gloss over it. I'm not saying we should be a specialist addiction service in our groups, just that we should be stronger at identifying it and working alongside men in their progress. Yes there are specialist groups of it already, AND so many humans experience addiction: technology addiction, porn addiction, sex addiction, food addiction, alcohol addiction etc. It's very difficult for it not to be present in some way
- Shared funding and support to find funding across the country
- Focus on creating intergenerational spaces that emphasis this relationship
Heaps of love to you brothers. Here's to continuing to create a better world we can be proud of
I have one more:
- Beyond the 'I' circle. I can't speak for what other circles do or the culture they carry but I see it as necessary for people to go from speaking as 'you', to 'I', that is owning their experience and story and culture. Aka the 'I' circle. Beyond this, I see it as necessary to then move to 'we' as a collective culture and in making meaning beyond just 'I'. We shouldn't get stuck in the individualistic 'I', and I believe need to build relationship with both the past and the future, across cultures and do this together. Collective action, shared culture, visioning for the future.
Happy to be part of the chat. Ran 2 mens musters in te anau and more than happy to share insights