Men's Groups Newsletter - November 2025

Hello ,

Just a heads up for you guys in the Nelson area about International Men’s Open Day. We have recently been reminded about our achievements in all this work. We have a vibrant Int. Men’s Day here. I believe we were the first ones and it is ever so slowly spreading around the country, notably with Bear in Christchurch doing their version of it.

We also run the nationwide website that is hugely impressive and getting quite comprehensive. Have a look, guys. Alek has done a sterling job.

We also host 4 retreats per year that attract some men from outside the region.

We have some 10 groups in Nelson now plus the ones in the Mot and Golden Bay area (how many?)

All this thanks to a growing number of men who see the value in perpetuating and spreading the work and making men’s groups available to everyone who wants it.

In this issue:

International Men's Open Day 22 November - including program
New Group to be Formed
Teepee Erection
National Men's Groups Conference
Rotoiti Recap
Waitangi Retreat

International Men's Open Day

22 November 2025, starts 11 am
Victory Community Center, Nelson
Free public men's event

Let’s make this a celebration and show of pride about our men's group culture. We'd love as many existing men’s group guys to show up as possible. Come mingle with fellow men, engage newcomers, and participate in the demo circles to model our circle culture.

There are many small jobs and rosters to fill. Please consider volunteering to one of the below:

food stall (making coffee, selling homemade food etc)
demo circles (we need men who facilitate those on an hourly basis, any of you qualify)
set up and pack down (see below)
kids (keeping an I on them, oversee a soccer game or anything you might want to bring in)

Set up starts at 9am. There are lots of minor jobs. It’s also a good time to bond with the dudes before the punters arrive.

We kick it off with a conscious dance run by Jaime, to get the energy up and bring us together.

VERY IMPORTANT:

We are asking guys to bring food that we can sell cheaply. We are asking for cakes, salads and cookies. Maybe if you see it like a potluck event. Bring food. Maybe your partner loves you doing this work so much that she will donate a cake or salad to show her appreciation.

Please commit to bring food and do let us know (Hardy, 021 213 2299, hardybachert@web.de)

This year's programme includes:

Panel Discussions:

How to Break Up Well
How to navigate separation or divorce with care — what can go wrong, and how to avoid turning it into a war. Featuring expert advise from a lawyer, therapist, child advocate and court representative + real men's experiences (good & bad) - with Sarah Moon, Cil van den Brink, Felicity Hurst, Noa Vondizky and more...

Dating in 2025
Discussing attachment theory, what a healthy relationship looks like, reg flags to avoid + a diverse range of experiences (both men's and women's perspectives) - with Cil van den Brink, Noa Vondizky, Glenn Cousins and more...

Speakers:

Recovery from Rockbottom & Inner Work for Change - with Danyon Fairbrother
Intergenerational Trauma & How to Overcome it - with Tim James
Conflict & Anger in Relationships - with Victor MacGill
Owning Your Issues - with Bryce Wastney
Internet Addiction & Safety - with John Parsons
Suicide Prevention - with Hope Is My Homeboy

Workshops:

Effective Communication - Psychodrama Workshop - with the Simon Jones
Family Constellation Workshop - with Isabelle Eustace

Music, Movement and Healing:

Conscious Dance - with Jaime Howell
Yoga for Men - with Adam Thomas
Cacao Ceremony & Healing Journey - with Benjamin Jones
Drumming - with Brett Ellis

Introduction to Men's Groups:

Demonstration Men's Circles - lead by experienced men, happening all throughout the day

We are eliminating the noise issues which have affected some previous years workshops.

If you have ideas for topics or want to be part of the organisation (even a small part) it's still time to do so. We will need plenty of help on the day too.

Here are a couple of links to 2 three-way conversations at FreshFM:

One with Danyon, who will speak at IMD about his recovery from meth addiction: click here to listen.
The other is with Sarah Moon, a lawyer who will be part of the separation panel: click here to listen.

New Group to be formed

Last year IMD yielded 2 new groups. Both are doing very well. The Dads group creates a lot of interest, with many enquiries. The format is adjusting to the needs of busy dads.

This year we are aiming at one new group. We need “uncles” to support the formation, to model how our culture works. It’s a month’s commitment (you don’t have to be there every time) that will reward you with seeing new guys opening up, building the trust, sharing their remarkable stories and starting the “journey” to take charge of the areas that have run on automatic in their lives. It’s a real buzz.

Please let us know if you are interested. The new group will start on Tuesday after the IMD.

Teepee Erection Working Bee

29 November - 10 am
1 Montcrieff Ave

Let's give the Teepee an erection. Last year 12 guys showed up and we had a ball. It’s a great opportunity to meet guys from other groups. So please come and join us and lets create this great meeting place again. Of course all groups are invited to use it for their meetings. We'll let you know how to book it.

National Men's Conference

Last newsletter we introduced the idea and background for this conference.

We like to encourage you to contribute to a discussion of the merits and direction of a national men's conference held in Nelson run by men's groups. If you are interested in being part of it, let us know. Contribute to the brain storming thread on the website about the conference.

Rotoiti Labour weekend Retreat Recap

This was a full on success. 25 guys from as far as Westport, Christchurch and North Island showed up, very deep processing, loads of fun and bonding. One highlight for me was Jaime's conscious dance which, as always, was very well lead and got a lot of emotion out of participants. Jaime will do a conscious dance at the Int Mens Day. Come and check it out.

Waitangi Men's Retreat

6 – 8 February 2026
Deer Lodge at St Arnaud

Time to plan ahead and consider joining us for a weekend of deep work. The Waitangi event follows the template of the other Rotoiti retreats which Murray has run for 3 decades.
We do emphasize introducing newer guys into the deep dive work. If you haven’t done one before, this is where you can start.

Mensgroup.nz

Our Nationwide network website - Your website

Alek has done an outstanding job creating and expanding a truly engaging and professional website for all men’s groups in New Zealand.

Check it out and let us know how we can improve it.

Events

Check https://www.mensgroup.nz/events/ for the latest updates

Represent your group on mensgroup.nz

If your group hasn't done so, consider writing a blurb and submit a photo through the website submission form. Its a way of networking with others and may give you new recruits when you need them.

Links

mensgroup.nz ======= That's Our (Your) website

Photos

We are looking for engaging photos of men doing their thing, group photos, men’s group activities, events etc to use on the website and possibly for promo on posters. Would you have some? Is your group OK being visible for the purpose of promoting our work? (please make sure everyone is happy with it)

Newbies

If you know someone who is looking for a men's group. Put them in touch with us. We've been very successful in placing dudes in groups.

If you want any announcements in this newsletter and/or on our website like events , vacancies in your group or whatever, contact us. We will however decide if its relevant here. We don’t want to spam people.

Hardy
Hardybachert@web.de
021 213 2299

Victor
022 326 4157